Monday, July 31, 2006

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More and more scientific studies are showing that drinking in moderation can have many benefits. These include lowering the risk of heart attack and creating a longer lifespan. This can be very good news to those who want to live forever, and with a mild buzz! But what is moderate drinking? Depending on your weight it can be 2-3 drinks for a man and 1-2 drinks for a woman.

How much is a drink? Generally one shot, or one 12 oz. beer, or one glass of wine. Not a Long Island Ice Tea, Kamikaze, or Boilermaker.

One scientific quandry is how many of these delicious libations did Mel Gibson drink last Thursday?

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Scientists are still working on what alocholic equation causes a man to spontaneosly blurt out Anti-Semitic epithets and call a female officer "sugar tits." Was it merely GERMAN beer that caused this? Or IRISH whiskey? Or merely the fact that Mel Gibson is a bit of a deuchebag? Who is to say. But hopefully this is one mystery that SCIENCE will decipher. ( And hopefully in time for Gibson's new movie Apocalypto!)

4 comments:

Koala Mentala said...

It's "douchebag", you deuchebag! And drinking excessively can have many benefits as well, for instance memory loss.

Matthew said...

I can't believe I misspelled dooshbag.

Sombody I Used to Know said...

I bet Kuala knows how to spell it because he finds it spray-painted on his car all the time. By the way, your name is now Kuala under the new regime of Gu.

Koala Mentala said...

I don't even own a car. I'm too cool.