Monday, July 31, 2006

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More and more scientific studies are showing that drinking in moderation can have many benefits. These include lowering the risk of heart attack and creating a longer lifespan. This can be very good news to those who want to live forever, and with a mild buzz! But what is moderate drinking? Depending on your weight it can be 2-3 drinks for a man and 1-2 drinks for a woman.

How much is a drink? Generally one shot, or one 12 oz. beer, or one glass of wine. Not a Long Island Ice Tea, Kamikaze, or Boilermaker.

One scientific quandry is how many of these delicious libations did Mel Gibson drink last Thursday?

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Scientists are still working on what alocholic equation causes a man to spontaneosly blurt out Anti-Semitic epithets and call a female officer "sugar tits." Was it merely GERMAN beer that caused this? Or IRISH whiskey? Or merely the fact that Mel Gibson is a bit of a deuchebag? Who is to say. But hopefully this is one mystery that SCIENCE will decipher. ( And hopefully in time for Gibson's new movie Apocalypto!)


Koala Mentala said...

It's "douchebag", you deuchebag! And drinking excessively can have many benefits as well, for instance memory loss.

Matthew said...

I can't believe I misspelled dooshbag.

Sombody I Used to Know said...

I bet Kuala knows how to spell it because he finds it spray-painted on his car all the time. By the way, your name is now Kuala under the new regime of Gu.

Koala Mentala said...

I don't even own a car. I'm too cool.