Tuesday, August 29, 2006
For real, dawg! Nice buns!
Friday, August 18, 2006
This blog entry is ONLY intended for the editorial staff of SOULFUKT. If you are someone else and reading this, you have to PROMISE me to stab your own eyes out. Deal?
SOULFUKTers: Go to SUPERBLOG!! and follow instructions. Failure to comply may result in loss of life.
p.s. Sexy tongue.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
I just did this AWESOME painting with a 2B pencil after snorting cocaine with Tony Danza. It represents the penis. Tony said he thought the texture was a little pedestrian, but I disagree. I told him to shut up, and he was like all "Hey man, shut your pie hole, I'm serious about this." Then I stuck him in the eye with my AIDS infected needle. Who's the boss now, huh, bitch?
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Monday, August 14, 2006
Druids were an ancient Celtic people who settled in Western Europe. They had a deep reverance for nature and their major holidays took place around the changing of seasons. Many of these exist today, albeit in a different form (Groundhog's Day, Easter, and Halloween.)
Their history was passed down by word of mouth so very little written text remains. If anything their history is told by other peoples who observed them. The most notable history written by Ceasar in his book Commentarii de Bello Gallico.
After the Roman conquest, the Druids were all but destroyed. Stonehenge is often associated with Druidic practices but evidence suggests that the mysterious rock formation was in existance long before the Druids even found their way to Britannia.
But could Druidism be en vogue yet again?
If this dress worn by Lindsay Lohan is any indication, then the answer is a resounding yes! I for one welcome Druish fashion into modern times, especially if it means getting a shot at those delicious 20 year-old mammaries.
I have a feeling that if Druids were this hot, I would have gone to a Druid Boarding school instead of getting my knuckles rapped by Sister Mary McClanahan. The only thing better would be if Druids were way into jumping up and down spontaneously. You know what I'm saying, right? Jiggla-jiggla-jiggla!
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Monday, August 07, 2006
Fat. Where does it come from, and what do we do with it? We are all born with fat cells, they appear during the third trimester as we're all snug in our mother's warm womb.
One interesting thing to note is that we are stuck with the same number of fat cells through our entire life! We don't get new ones, the cells we have merely get bigger and bigger! It is during puberty when the fat cells (either white or brown) are distributed throughout our bodes. For men, the fast stays mainly in the stomach "beer belly" area, while women keep their fat in their breasts, hips, waists, and buttocks along with the area commonly referred to as the "gunt."
Knowing what we know about fat, what the hell are those assflaps on Paris Hilton?
I think that they are just the barely visible buttcheeks swinging about as she shashays across the dance floor. But what does this mean for the state of her ass? Since she is so skinny perhaps her fat is exposing itself in bizarre and frightful ways. Her fat must be more liquid and soft as opposed to the tougher spongelike texture afforded to other poorer human beings.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Here's my depiction of what it feels like to be caught in a snowstorm with only a blacksmith's hammer and a bag of peanuts for survival. I think you'll agree, it has many levels, none of which can be understood by anyone.